Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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