TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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