marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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