I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are we still banned from the library?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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