if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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