All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
