She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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