We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
