I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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