we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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