Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
