My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
