So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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