she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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