she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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