yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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