Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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