the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
