Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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