In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
