He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
