Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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