pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
