what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
