hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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