So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
