So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
