go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
