My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes