I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
