I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
