I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
