to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize