I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
