people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
