dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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