I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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