I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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