My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
