And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
