i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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