oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
