Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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