i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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