This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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