There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
