walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
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Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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