She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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