He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
