Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
