It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
