I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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