i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
