The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize