Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
