I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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