Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
