there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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