The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
