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• (301): View more from Maryland

  so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.

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• (631): View more from New York

  OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!

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• (530): View more from California

  Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.

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• (786): View more from Florida

  His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.

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