so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
