I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
