Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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