Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
